I don’t mind being lied to for a third time. How can you look at me in the eyes and reassure me of something that is not true. How does it not cross your mind that when you do that, oh hey maybe you should tell Kathleen instead of lying to her fucking face because you are unable to deal with the way I’ll react. I’m sorry that I respond the way I do, but you are the one making the actions not me, you are the one controlling that. No one forced you too and that’s why you are too scared to tell me….you did.You know what is even better? The fact that you pleaded to me that you just don’t want to talk about it right now, that you just can’t handle talking about it yet. HAHA okay so I’m the one who gets lied to, has to feel like shit, has to feel like the naive idiot once again, but we aren’t allowed to talk about it yet cause you can’t ”deal”.  Sigh. I don’t know what to do with myself. This was a much needed rant last night. BUT it is okay.

I enjoyed playing slapjack while listening to the beachboys for an hour afterwards.

I no longer have room in my life to deal with these issues. So this is me venting the thoughts and forgetting about them. I need to start enjoying my life. Summer starts in two days.

love kate